David Letterman on Donald Trump and Late- Night TV Today. Since retiring after 3. David Letterman has kept a low public profile — aided by the growth of a truly impressive beard. But that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been as fixated on politics as the rest of us.
We’ve run out of tape.’ It’s all I’d be talking about. I’d be exhausted.” Late- night TV comedy has offered some of the sharpest — and most- remarked- upon — responses to the Trump presidency. But despite the work of Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers, Saturday Night Live, and the rest, it’s hard not to wish Letterman, late- night’s greatest ironist and most ornery host, was still around to take aim.
And so we’ve brought him out of retirement to weigh in on life after television and his old frequent guest and punching bag, the man he calls Trumpy. David Marchese: I’ve always loved Leaves of Grass, so it’s a pleasure to meet the man who wrote it. David Letterman: I’ve given up on making that kind of joke because I ran out of people with beards other than Walt Whitman that anyone knew — the joke didn’t work as well when I used Frederick Douglass. But great things have happened to me since I’ve been walking around with this beard. I was in Santa Monica, at the Ocean Park Caf. She was an art major, and for her final project she did a pencil- drawing portrait of Chuck Close. She said, “It was the best thing I did in all of college.” I finally said, “I’m not Chuck Close.” Boom, she’s out like a shot.
Then she comes back and says, “That really disappoints me.”The other thing is that somebody who loves Chuck Close that much might know that, unlike you, he’s in a wheelchair. Good point. I wish you had been with us. Another time with this beard, I was in New York City standing on Sixth Avenue, and a woman on the sidewalk looked at me and she said, “Do you have a television show?” “No, I don’t.” “Did you used to have a television show?” “Yes, I did.” “What happened?” “I got fired.” “Are you David Letterman?” “Yes, I am.” And then she said, “Man, they fucked you up.”Did CBS fuck you up? What do you know? What have you heard? If anybody fucked me up, it was me, by getting old and stupid.
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Have you ever wondered what you might’ve said if you’d been doing The Late Show the night after Trump was elected? No, I haven’t thought about it. See, I was out running one day when he was still president- elect, and I thought, Let’s call him. I’ve known the guy since the ’8. I was one of a few people who had routinely interviewed him.
I’m not blinded by the white- hot light of “president- elect.” I mean, we elected a guy with that hair? Why don’t we investigate that? He looks like Al Jardine of the Beach Boys.
I don’t know. I’m sorry for rambling. I’m afraid something has happened to me hormonally. I can’t stop talking. I mean, we elected a guy with that hair? Why don’t we investigate that?
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And that’s why you’re okay with being off the air? I’m afraid if I still had a show, it would be a lot of, “We’re spending quite a lot of money on editing, Dave.
If you could just keep it to an hour, we’d all appreciate that, because we have big stars who’ve flown in from Hollywood to be here.”As someone who interviewed Trump dozens of times, how did your estimation of him change over the years? The first time he came on Late Night, which I think was in ’8.
He was a mogul, for God’s sake. By 2. 01. 2, you’re making fun of his hair apparatus and explaining to him that his ties were being made in China. I always regarded him as, if you’re going to have New York City, you gotta have a Donald Trump. He was a joke of a wealthy guy. We didn’t take him seriously.
He’d sit down, and I would just start making fun of him. He never had any retort. He was big and doughy, and you could beat him up. He seemed to have a good time, and the audience loved it, and that was Donald Trump.
Beyond that, I remember a friend in the PR business told me that he knew for a fact — this was three or four presidential campaigns ago — that Donald Trump would never run for president; he was just monkeying around for the publicity. So I assumed that was the story and now it turns out he’s the president. Now, who owns New York?
It’s a family. The Wassersteins. Say the head of the family, let’s say his name was Larry Wasserstein. If Larry behaved the way Donald behaves, for even a six- week period, the family would get together and say, “Jesus, somebody better call the doctor.” Then they’d ask him to step down.
But Trump’s the president and he can lie about anything from the time he wakes up to what he has for lunch and he’s still the president. I don’t get that. I’m tired of people being bewildered about everything he says: “I can’t believe he said that.” We gotta stop that and instead figure out ways to protect ourselves from him. We know he’s crazy. We gotta take care of ourselves here now. How? Is comedy useful for that? Comedy’s one of the ways that we can protect ourselves.
Alec Baldwin deserves a Presidential Medal of Freedom. Sadly, he’s not going to get it from this president. Can you explain that a bit more?
How does satire protect us from Donald Trump? The man has such thin skin that if you keep pressure on him — I remember there was a baseball game in Cleveland, and a swarm of flies came on the field and the batters were doing this . Well, that’s Alec Baldwin and Saturday Night Live.
It’s distracting the batter. Eventually Trump’s going to take a fastball off the sternum and have to leave the game.
There’s this idea that reducing Trump to a punchline could make him seem harmless or helps to normalize him. Is there any validity to that argument? I guess it’s a possibility. On the other hand, Donald Trump can be Donald Trump, but if he doesn’t help the people that need help, then he’s just a jerk. That press conference that he held berating the news media? I mean, how do you build a dictatorship?
First, you undermine the press: “The only truth you’re going to hear is from me.” And he hires the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Steve Bannon, to be his little buddy. Bannon looks like a guy who goes to lunch, gets drunk, and comes back to the office: “Steve, could you have just one drink?” “Fuck you.” How is a white supremacist the chief adviser to our president?
Did anybody look that up? I don’t know. How’s this interview going? Do you think you’re talking to a normal person here? Don’t I seem like I’m full of something? Watch a supercut of all the times Letterman has interviewed Trump over the years: You’re sure you’re not missing being on the air?
It seems like you’ve got a lot to say. This is the way I’d be every night, and the next thing you know, I’d be slumped over in my chair and that would be it.
But it’s such an amazing group of targets. The comedy potential of these people is incredible. It’s delightful. Kellyanne Conway was my favorite for a long time. This thing about her telling everyone, “Go buy Ivanka’s shoes; I’m going to go buy Ivanka’s shoes. Hell, I’ll buy you a pair of Ivanka’s shoes.” Then they had to counsel her. Boy, if this administration decides you need counseling — whoa.
And poor Sean Spicer is a boob who just got out of a cab and now here he is. Then the other kid, is it Miller? Stephen Miller. Wow, that guy is creepy. He fell out of a truck. And the guy from Exxon, Rex Tillerson.
Don would say, “Rex, if you’re talking to your friends, ask them” — I’m sure the Russians groomed Trump. They gave him tips: “You want to be an authoritarian dictator? 2:22 (2017) Movie Out here. Sure, that’s not a problem. We’ll tell you how to do it, for God’s sake.” I think it was just all like that, because that’s the way Trump does business: “See if they’ll give us the tar coating? They’ll throw that in? Great, great. And by the way, we’re not paying the last 1. I think it’s the same shit.
Do you feel any better about your fellow Indianan Mike Pence? He only got elected because he looks like Bobby Knight. Jeez, Pence scared the hell out of me. There was a therapy . There’s debate about whether or not Pence actually supported it. Yes, conversion therapy.
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